Monday, October 20, 2014

Scared & Alone...

I never realized how much I was dependent on others. Not really in a, "Help me with this task because I'm unable or don't know how to do it," kind of way, but an, "I don't want to do this alone," kind of way. 
This semester has been so busy, I've never really had time to worry about doing things alone. I am getting used to eating alone, sleeping alone, and being alone most of the time. 
It's weird not having a roommate down the hall. 
I think I've grown so much I'm the last eight weeks, and I am starting to slowly feel more and more prepared for adult life (and post college life). 
I don't mind responsibility. It gives me a purpose. I like (even though I know I do complain sometimes) being busy. 
Having something to do all the time makes me feel useful. I don't like feeling bored. And I never feel bored now. I actually sometimes wish that I had a little bit more free time.  
I haven't had time to see friends and just hang out before I leave in 60 (Holy cow... SIXTY!) days. 
As the days dwindle down, it gets more and more evident that my days here at Bowling Green State University are numbered... And I'm really sad about that. I'm going to miss it here. I love so many things about this place. 
I've learned so much, made so many friends who I hope are the life-long kind, and I am just so thankful for the opportunities that BGSU has afforded me.  
I didn't mean for this to get so sentimental.  
I saw a scary movie (Annabelle) the other day, and being all alone in a dark, secluded apartment is NOT an ideal location to be while the fear is still fresh.  
I decided to blog to help take my mind off it all.

Anyways... Yeah... I guess the end :)

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

31 Days of Halloween...

On the first day of Halloween, a monster gave to me:
A scarecrow in a pumpkin patch.


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It's October 1st! It's finally the start of the best section of the calendar year!
My four favorite days of the year:
1. Christmas Eve
2. Christmas Day
3. My Birthday (Oct. 8th)
4. Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving)

I am fully able to justify this list.

* Christmas Eve is perfect, because everything is so happy, and it's the height of the holiday season. All the hype is still there, and everyone is especially happy. My family also has amazing Christmas Eve traditions, which really put this day to the top of the list.

*Christmas Day is the second best day, because it's Christmas, the day we've been waiting for. Everyone is so happy, loving, etc. The only reason it's the second best, is because once the day is over, there's no more Christmas music, and everyone goes back to being crazy as soon as it's all over.

*My Birthday is my third favorite day of the year because it's just another excuse to be happy & extra cheerful.. and, I mean.. it was the day I was born! Haha

*I love Black Friday, not because of the ridiculous deals, but because it's just a fun tradition that I've been doing with my family/friends for years, and I just like the excitement of it. It's a day (night) full of nostalgia. Haha

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Each day of October I'm going to post a Halloween song that I love to get everyone in the spirit!! :)

My song for today is:

"In Our Haunted House" by Andrew Gold


Thursday, September 25, 2014

I'll Spread My Wings & I'll Learn How To Fly...

"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky, and I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change... and breakaway."

My life over the past few months has been a compete blur.
I literally (yes, literally) feel as though I'm going through my life while the time is in fast-forward mode... all while carrying around a really giant (HEAVY, obviously) boulder.

Back in April I wrote about how I felt like all the weight would be lifting off soon. Well, I'm still telling myself that the weight will be gone soon. I also said I didn't want to go another four months without writing anything... I went five... Oops.

WELL: I want to say that won't happen again, but who really knows?

The quote that opened up my post is really going to be my post-grad motto I think.

Post grad.

Uhh...

So, this is actually happening.

This morning I was just sitting there & it actually hit me...
Come December, I will be done with not only my college career, but my educational career in general.
THAT IS SCARIEST THING EVER!

If you think about it, all that I've known for the past 17 years (including preschool & kindergarten) has been school.

Roughly 77% of my life has been school.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?!

Am I emotionally and mentally prepared for the "real world" that's supposedly to come?

Is it bad that I want to cry right now?
(And by want to, I mean actual tears are streaming down my face)
Not because I don't want to graduate, but because I literally don't know how to feel at all.
Is there a way I should feel? Because I don't know the answer to that.
And I don't think there's one right answer.

That's why I'm making that quote my motto!
I need to "spread my wings & learn how to fly."
I don't think life is something that can be taught.
Sure, we can be guided, but life needs to be experienced and learned on my own.
Scary.

I ALSO NEED TO ADMIT SOMETHING...
In 84 days I will be a college graduate and I still don't know "what I want to be when I grow up."
Which sort of makes me feel like a failure.

I know I haven't wasted my time in college, because I've learned more than I could have imaged learning, and I know I chose the right major, because I absolutely love it; however, I can't pick ONE job that I would absolutely love to have for the rest of my life.
I want to do everything!
And I think that's part of my problem.
The problem I don't know how to solve... and I feel like time is running out.

ALSO:
I just need to acknowledge the fact that I miss my grandma more than I can even handle (which might be the real reason that I'm crying... ) Because I don't want to believe any of it happened still... I know I'm in denial and that's not good, but I don't care.
**I'm going to give her a real post, which will be entirely dedicated to her... I'm still not emotionally prepared for that yet.

OKAY.
ASIDE FROM ALL THE STRESS & SADNESS:
This semester is kind of awesome :)
My classes are going well so far & I don't have too much senioritis.

I love all my classes & all of jobs & my support system getting me through it all is really stellar! :)

FOR THE NEXT 84 DAYS I AM GOING TO KEEP POWERING THROUGH! 
I can do it!

HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE!

P.S. I'm going home for the weekend & I'm super pumped about it! 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Four Score & Seven Years...

I haven't written anything in 4 months...
This is incredibly unlike me.
However, I blame this on the fact that I've barely had time to breathe this semester.

Everything is starting to come to a close though.
THANK GOODNESS.

Never again will I have to take 6 classes at the same time!
What a relief!

In my last post I talked about everything I wanted to accomplish, which I think was a very good idea, because looking back, I can see that I've almost started accomplishing those things.
Once I can cross some of those tasks off my list, the weight will be releasing off my shoulders!


I'm surviving the semester.
So what's up next?

Securing that final co-op for the summer!

I've already sent in my resume/applied at 24 companies.
I'm just so nervous... I feel like if I get my hopes up about something, I'll be extra sad if it doesn't work out. I did that once already, but it looks like I might have a second chance, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I've gone through quite a few "lasts" recently.
It's kind of bittersweet!

I had my last meeting as president of VCTO.
I signed up for my last semester of college classes (For the Fall)
I'm almost done with my last spring semester ever!
It's crazy!!!!!!!!!!

I've got quite a bit of work still to do though before the semester is up, so I don't know if I'll have time to post a whole lot more... But, hopefully it won't be 4 months until the next one!

:)

Happy Wednesday!
A week and a half left until my finals! :)



CRAZY.

Friday, January 3, 2014

I'm Running Out Of Clever Titles...

First off...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wow, I can't believe it's 2014!

Here's to a stellar new year!!

I spent my winter break in Florida.
It was very fun!
The temperature wasn't too hot, so it was even more perfect!

Here's me & bro at Downtown Disney!
We went to Universal Studios/Island Adventures & even spent some time at Downtown Disney :)

VERY FUN!

What a way to spend new years!

I didn't really make a resolution this year though.
There are too many things that I know I need to accomplish, so I didn't really put labels on them!

My 3 Goals for the next year:
1. Survive my spring semester (6 classes + 2 jobs!!!)
2. Secure my final required co-op for the summer (3rd out of 3!)
3. Graduate in December (Which would be slightly early!!)

I'm pretty sure I can handle those things...
But we'll see...

So, on that note, I'd like to raise my glass to 2014, cause it's going to be a fantastic year! I just know it!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Visual Communication Technology Organization...

I haven't written anything in a while.
I've had an incredibly hectic semester (which is still going on!)
For at least a few more weeks anyway!


I just wanted to give a little shoutout to VCTO though.

VCTO is the Visual Communication Technology Organization.
It's an org on campus for my major.
(And for any other majors too!)
I love it so much.

VCTO changed my life.
Not in the "It stopped me from doing drugs," or "It helped me overcome my life trials," kind of changes, but an amazing kind of change that I'm not even sure I know how to describe. 



I joined during the spring semester of my freshman year of college.
I wasn't really sure if I really wanted to be there or not, but for some reason I stuck around.

I'm not sure if it was the moment when the upperclassmen started giving me advice about the VCT professors and about different classes, or when I attended the group trip to Photoshop World, but I knew that VCTO was something great.


At the end of my freshman year, I ran for an executive board position, and won!
I was now the official secretary of VCTO for Fall 2012!


Wow.


Being one of the youngest exec members had its perks!
I was able to hang out with older students & really learn so much from all of them!


After my short run as secretary, I got promoted to VP for the next semester.


Little did I know that VP would turn into PRESIDENT though.


I have learned so much in my short term as president. But, I've seriously poured my heart and soul into the organization, and I really think the success of VCTO is reflecting that.

The hours I spend working on stuff for VCTO takes up a good majority of the very little free time I have, but it's so worth it.

In one semester, we've raised our attendance rate from about 3 non-exec members to 16 non-execs! We've made great progress with out website, AND we've even got two jobs working with other on-campus orgs! Not to mention we managed to pull off the most successful fundraiser in VCTO history within a span of 24 hours.

I'm so proud of my entire team of exec board members.
We've all given up so much to offer up a place where all VCT majors can be nerdy and make fun of comic sans together :)

I've really gained so much from running an organization.
I'm so incredibly thankful for this experience, and I don't ever want it to end.
Even though I get ridiculously stressed out most of the time, I love it.

I love being a mentor to the underclassmen... a good role model...someone they can look up to.

The feeling of knowing you're making a difference in so many peoples' lives is incredibly rewarding.

VCTO is the greatest, and I just want to share the awesome opportunities I've received from VCTO with everyone else!

Phew! Okay... That was my little rant for the day :) (or month... Haha)

THIS IS THE LAST "Food for THOUGHTS :)" I'm putting on my blog, because I think I've outgrown that saying... :)

Have a good Thursday! 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Why Blair Waldorf Is Perfect...

Seriously though.
She's perfect.
She's a real princess, without a physical throne.


She is absolutely fabulous.
FAB-U-LOUS!
Fabulous!

She ruled the upper east side.
New York City is her throne.
She's a born leader.

She is brilliant at scheming.

You're probably not worthy of her company…
But she'll put up with you.

Her life, even though she's had some tough times, has still be like a fairytale…


Blair Waldorf + Nate Archibald
They dated since kindergarten…
It was over a decade-long romance…


They had their lives planned together…

They had so much fun together...

Seriously, look how perfect

But at least they were able to be friends after they parted ways


Blair Waldorf + Dan Humphrey
They started out as enemies…
But then a spark flared…

Dan & Blair started the perfect friendship…

With a kiss…

And even though it didn't work out 
like Dan had wanted it to…

He was always a shoulder to lean on…

And their friendship was pretty perfect…

They even had a short romance for a little while...


Blair Waldorf + Prince Louis Grimaldi
She's literally so lucky…
A prince just walked up to her…

Now, this is what I call a real Cinderella story…
The shoe bit… really…

And they started the cutest romance story ever…
Blair on her way to being legit royalty…

Of course they became engaged…
Because, of course.. it's Blair!

They even got married… Awk…
Cause I mean, we all know she's meant 
to be with with Chuck…
It ends though, unfortunately for Louis...


Blair Waldorf + Chuck Bass
Seriously, they literally are always drawn back together…
They were so on & off…

But always seemed to find each other again…

Seriously though…
Does it even get cuter than this?!



Oh wait, it does…

They are so in love…

And it's absolutely perfect…

So perfect.
I love it.


Blair Waldorf = Perfection.